Off the Pedestal
by LuckyDuck29
Summary: Third in the Total Honesty series. Spinelli and Lulu have a series of talks about their feelings concerning each other and the people in their lives. Please see my profile for the link to the ld29info forum for the author’s notes.


"I need to talk to you," Spinelli told Lulu.

Logan had asked her to smuggle her in some real food, so she'd gone to Kelly's to pick something up.

"I can't now," she said, glaring at him. "I need to get back to the hospital with-"

"Total honesty, remember?"

She thought back to the day of Georgie's funeral. Part of her wanted to still push him away, to deny that she wanted total honesty right now. But she knew that wasn't fair. She and Spinelli were friends. He was right; she was doing the go away step again. He had promised to be honest with her about his feelings if she promised to stop dancing when he told her. She nodded reluctantly and they went to the alley in back of Kelly's.

"He's awake," she said.

Her tone was colder than she wanted it to be and she knew he could hear the words, "no thanks to you." She knew that wasn't fair, but she wasn't ready to stop being angry with him yet.

He wasn't used to being angry with her, but now he genuinely was. She had made another reckless decision based on information he had given her in order to try to protect her and now she was blaming him for her decision.

"I'm honestly glad he's awake," he said, waiting for her to make some remark about how he didn't really mean it; something like "yeah, right."

She didn't. She knew he really was glad, now that they knew Diego was the Text Message Killer and that Logan hadn't been trying to hurt her that day she had hit him with the wrench and put him in a coma. Spinelli could never be mistaken for someone who didn't care, even about people he didn't like. He had wanted to protect Lulu, not to have Logan hurt or killed.

After a few seconds of silence, he continued.

"I didn't mean for you to hurt him; you have to know that. I mean, please, tell me you don't honestly think I wanted you to go to a possible killer's house, as we thought he was at the time, and hit him over the head with a wrench; you have to know me better than that."

"I do," she said, allowing his comments to temporarily give her ammunition to put some of the blame for what she had done on him again. He should never have told her, she insisted to herself, without hard proof. She told herself his motives didn't matter. "But, Spinelli, why did you tell me that when-"

"I think you know why," he said angrily.

She looked surprised at his tone.

"I wanted you to be careful, not to fulfill your apparently constant and engrained need to do the exact opposite of what people ask of you!"

"You knew I had that impulse," she said, equally angry. "You've known that for months. Didn't you think of that when you decided to tell me my boyfriend was a killer?"

The thought of how irrational that had sounded made her even angrier, but this anger was directed at herself, so she didn't continue.

"What if I had been right?" he demanded. "What if I'd been right and I hadn't said anything and Logan had killed you. Didn't it occur to you when I was asking you to proceed with extreme caution, and those were my exact words, that maybe I didn't wanna lose another friend like I did Georgie? Did it not cross your mind even once that I was terrified for you, that I can't handle losing another friend, especially not so soon after Georgie! And what about your family? Your father recently had heart surgery and almost died. Your brother has a brain tumor and has recently lost his fiancé the same way Georgie died! Your nephew is going to need you and the rest of your family if, Gods and Goddesses forbid, the doctors can't save Nikolas and you're deliberately throwing yourself into dangerous situations? Your family needs you alive; they shouldn't have to worry about losing you either! Did you think about nothing other than proving me wrong, proving me to be the geek who knows nothing of life outside Cyberspace!"

She stared at him, not knowing what to say. She had called him that once, but he'd forgiven her.

"Maybe at the time you said that it was true, to an extent, but I was hit full in the face with a dose of life outside Cyberspace when I found my dearest friend lying dead in the snow where her killer tossed her on the stairs like a broken-"

He broke off. He still had nightmares, particularly when he was exceptionally stressed, and the memory still brought him to tears if he thought of it for too long. He wasn't crying now, but he would if he didn't get away from this subject.

He wasn't saying this to make her feel bad for the way she'd blamed him for her decision to hit Logan. He'd been having so many thoughts going around in his head that he was having trouble organizing them. These were some issues he wanted to discuss with Lulu, but the issue he really wanted to clear up with her now was the fact that she had taken the information he'd tried to give her for her own protection and used it to endanger herself. Maybe he should have waited to tell her, but what if he'd waited too long? What if Logan had been the killer and his failure to warn Lulu had cost her her life?

Lulu felt horrible now. She had totally disregarded his feelings again, and after promising she wouldn't. She had promised on the day they had buried his friend, but the minute that promise had been tested she had broken it with no regard for anything but her own desire to be right. She had also given him her word that she would be careful and that had gone right out the window when she went to Logan's apartment to prove Spinelli and Maxie wrong.

"Oh, Spinelli," she began, reaching for him, wanting to cry for the pain she'd caused him by making him think of Georgie's death and possibly losing her in a similar way.

"Don't," he said sharply, pulling away, not wanting her to comfort him now after she'd been treating him like a criminal for weeks.

He hugged himself. Lulu knew he did that when he was upset or unsure, as if trying to give himself a comforting hug and at the same time trying to make himself smaller. It made sense. Not many people cared enough to comfort him, so he comforted himself, and even someone who cared, as she did, couldn't always comfort him. People hurt him, so trying to make himself smaller was an effort to make himself less of a target. She knew how ineffective that was, though, against the kind of emotional pain he was experiencing now, and she'd been the cause of a lot of it, on top of Georgie's death. It was her fault he needed to protect himself instead of letting her hug him. She wanted to give him comfort now, but he wasn't letting her.

"Please," Lulu began tearfully.

"I am always there!" he burst out suddenly. "When you need me I come to you as fast as I can; I don't feel I can ask you to do that when you do this."

He wasn't as much angry now as he was sad that his friendship with her had deteriorated to this level and he wasn't even sure how.

"when I need you, you're not speaking to me. I thought I had killed the mother of the Charmed one and you weren't speaking to me. Jolene made me think she liked me back and then started faking interest in Stone Cold, then I found out who and what she really was and she took a bullet for me, confusing me even more, and you weren't speaking to me. I found Georgie and you weren't speaking to me, and this time it was because I had tried to get you to admit something to me, not because I confided something in Stone Cold that should have stayed between me and you and Logan. I needed you that night, on the worst night of my life, and I couldn't come to you! You keep saying I'm your best friend, but you don't act like it. You don't come to me when you need a friend; I have to find out some other way. You hitchhike and I have to find you instead of you coming to me and telling me you're hurting. You tell me about your father's surgery after it's over; I do appreciate that you didn't want me to face the possibility of more death so soon after losing Georgie, but I'm your friend; if you need me I wanna be there, but you won't let me. Then there are the times when I am there and you find a way to project your anger on to me; I've done something wrong because you don't wanna face what's really wrong. I can't come to you when I need a friend because I've done something, real or imagined, that you consider wrong and then you punish me. You promised me that you would talk things out with me, but when I told you about the information we had you walked away from me and went to prove me wrong instead of staying and listening to what I had to say. It's been like this for months. I used to blame- no, I used to want to blame Logan because I didn't wanna blame you. I wanted to believe he had you confused. I didn't wanna think that you were starting more and more to look at me as that no-nothing geek you accused me of being before. You were upset and didn't really mean it then, but over the past few months, admittedly ever since you chose the- Logan, it's begun to feel like you do now."

"No, I don't."

"Please, let me finish. I started to look at things differently that day you used The Crabby Commando to push me away when you approached me, ostensively to find out what was going on with me as your friend, and then started trying to pump me for information on what Mr. Corinthos, Sir, and Stone Cold were planning to do about the Zacchara situation. You brought up the subject, not me, and then when you didn't wanna discuss it anymore you acted as if I was an intruder and forced him into the conversation; you said yourself that you knew that would make me leave. Things seemed to be getting better between us after Georgie's funeral, and after New Years Eve, but the minute I tried to make you see something you didn't wanna see you punished me again. You not only punished me; you broke your word. I thought you always kept your word. Maybe I shouldn't have told you what I had, but how could I not? You were so close to him and if he'd been the killer, how could I not warn you? If I'd been right and he'd killed you your death would have been my fault. I not only failed to save Georgie, but I'd unknowingly been hurting her for months. I'm gonna have to live with the guilt of that every day for the rest of my life; if you'd ended up dead, too, I couldn't live with that. If your father and brothers didn't kill me first, my guilt would have. But you made the decision to go over there and prove me wrong and found things that proved me right. You rightly defended yourself when you thought he was gonna hurt you and then I was to blame because you made a bad judgment call based on information I gave you so that you would use it to protect yourself, not to put yourself in danger. Logan may be the reason for some of your decisions, but you're the one who ultimately makes them and carries them out. You decided to punish me for your feelings for Johnny Zacchara when you didn't wanna admit them. You decided to hitchhike and leave Port Charles with a complete stranger. You decided to disregard my warning and ended up finding things you weren't meant to find. You were right a few minutes ago; my mistake was forgetting that you wouldn't listen to me because I was telling you something you didn't wanna hear. But if I'd been right, and Logan hadn't killed you, then you would have been angry with me for not telling you what I had on him. Can you look me in the eyes and honestly deny that?""

"No," she admitted quietly.

"You keep saying you wanna fix this, that I really am your best friend and you wanna be a better friend. You said you wanted to be more like Georgie was with me, a true friend. Did you mean it?"

"Yes."

"Then help me," he pleaded, beginning to talk with his hands. "I need to know what you want from me. Do you want a real friend, or do you just want me to agree with everything you say and do so we don't have these arguments? I don't know if I can do that, so I need us to come up with some kind of compromise."

"I meant everything I said the day of Georgie's funeral. I'm the one who really needs to change, not you. I know you were trying to protect me; I know you wanted me to be careful. You're right; I'm the one who made a stupid, reckless, irresponsible decision and put myself in danger, as usual, and then I tried to blame you. It's inexcusable, but I need to explain why. Will you hear me out?"

"Of course."

"I couldn't be the girlfriend of the Text Message Killer. If it was Logan, I forced him into our lives. I brought him to the ball, which meant if he was the killer, I made it possible for him to kill Emily. He might have left Port Charles if it hadn't been for me; if he was the killer, I was partly responsible for his killing Georgie. And then after I hit him I was terrified that I would end up like my mother."

It was his turn to stare. That hadn't occurred to him.

"I couldn't face the possibility that I might have killed him, or that I might have unintentionally helped him kill someone else, so I did what I always do; I found a way to blame you for being a true friend. Of course you had to tell me, and you're right about my being angry with you if you hadn't told me and he'd turned out to be the killer. These are my issues, though, and I have no right to take them out on you. I'm sorry. I know; I know. I keep saying it and every time I honestly mean it. I didn't mean to break my promise."

"Did you think I was deliberately trying to hurt you?"

"No, well, most of me knew you weren't, but the part that made me go rushing over there to prove you wrong did; it wasn't your fault, Spinelli. I just didn't wanna believe you. I couldn't believe you because it would mean I was partly responsible for Logan's being able to kill Emily, Georgie and Leticia. It would have meant I made it possible for him to go after Carly and Maxie. I may not like Maxie, but I don't want her dead, and Carly's my cousin. I couldn't live with myself if I brought the Text Message Killer into our lives."

"I couldn't have lived with myself either if he'd been the killer and you'd been one of his victims because I didn't tell you he was a suspect, but you weren't the one who brought him to Port Charles."

"I'm one of the reasons he stays; he might have gone somewhere else if he wasn't with me."

"Or he would have stayed. Were you not the one who told me on New Years Eve that we can't know the future?"

She smiled.

"I did say that, didn't I?"

He nodded.

"Please don't think I'm trying to turn this back on you," she said after a few seconds, "but why have you started calling Logan The Crabby Commando again? You agreed to be civil with each other."

"Yeah, but then I thought he was the killer and I wasn't gonna be civil to the guy who killed my friend and could have been putting you in danger. Besides, he broke the agreement first when you were kidnapped. The Jackal does not appreciate being dragged out of the Coffee House and having his link to this world and others held hostage, threatened with a watery grave. I don't appreciate being forced to break Stone Cold's trust; I feared I would not regain it."

"Wait. What? How did he force you to break Jason's trust?"

"The Crabby Commando and The Septic Son insisted on going into the inner sanctum to find your location. I had to steal Stone Cold's extra set of keys."

"You broke Jason's trust for me?"

She was surprised, touched and a little anxious. He would do anything for her, even if it hurt him. It was never a good idea to break your boss's trust, friend or not, and when your boss was in Jason's line of work it could be deadly. She was glad Jason was his friend; he would never hurt or kill Spinelli for doing something wrong. But Sonny didn't like Spinelli, so Lulu couldn't be sure Sonny wouldn't go too far if Spinelli did something he didn't like. Sonny was volatile under the best of circumstances.

"I would do anything to protect you. Do you not know that by now?"

"I do know, and I don't mean to act ungrateful. I'm glad you made me talk to you like I said we would; I'm glad you kept your promise to get rid of the pedestal."

He looked at her intently and she knew he was going to say something she probably wasn't going to like.

"There's something else we need to discuss," he said cautiously. "The Simian One was going to frame Johnny. It didn't matter to him that Georgie, Emily and Leticia would not be avenged, that the real killer would go free if he set Johnny up. But you're still with him after he was planning to do that, after he would have let Darth Diego go on killing. Please tell me this is not OK with you."

"No, it's definitely not OK that he was gonna do that, and I'm gonna let him know that in no uncertain terms. He's gotta find more constructive ways of dealing with things, and so do I. I'll help him, but I need your help; I need you to keep doing what you just did today, even if I resist like I tried to do before we came out here."

"Next time I won't wait so long. I did this time because you were so upset and he was in a coma; you would have been in no mood to listen to me then. I figured since Logan was awake now-"

"I would come to my senses. I almost didn't; if you hadn't reminded me of our total honesty pact I'd probably still be pretending you forced me to hit Logan. I'm so sorry; I've been so unfair, as usual. I swear, Spinelli, sometimes I don't know why you call me Fair Lulu; sometimes it seems like it's a total lie and you don't even realize it's a lie."

"It's not a lie; you're beautiful."

She blushed slightly.

"But I don't treat you fairly."

"This is why we need these total honesty talks."

"Very true."

They hugged, then she held him at arm's length and looked at him carefully.

"Now we need to talk about something you said earlier. You did not fail Georgie. There was nothing you could have done to save her. As for not knowing how she felt, how were you supposed to know if she didn't tell you? What were you supposed to compare it to without her coming right out and telling you? You said she was the first girl to choose you; if no one had chosen you before, how could you know she did then?"

"She looked for reasons to be with me; I looked for reasons to be with you when I was trying to get you to choose me. Why didn't I see the pattern?"

"Because Georgie always had a rational reason. I'm sorry, Spinelli, but you're very transparent; anyone can tell when you're lying because you're just not good at it. Even people who don't like you can tell you hate lying; honesty is as much part of your nature as your hair and eye color. Georgie could always come up with a valid reason for looking for you, right?"

He thought about it, then smiled slightly.

"There was one time The Jackal was confused by her reason for seeking him out. She said she was having trouble navigating a web site I had given her. I couldn't figure out why a smart girl like Wise Georgie was having difficulty with something so pedestrian."

"But that still wasn't enough to tip you off; it wasn't obvious enough. She was honest with you about everything except this, so you had no reason to suspect she was lying, or that she would lie."

"She invited me to Thanksgiving dinner; no girl had ever done that before either. I was puzzled by the invitation and she said she and Maxie and Dr. Robin were allowed to bring dates. I thought she needed me, as her friend, to fill in since she was unattached."

"And she didn't correct you."

He shook his head.

"It's partly my fault she didn't tell you; I took Dillon from her and she didn't wanna lose you to me either if you guys got together. You were still convinced that-"

She didn't want to go any further. She didn't know how to finish without hurting him.

"I still thought we had a chance romantically."

"I've hurt you again."

"No, I'm just stating the facts. I'm not hurt."

She relaxed.

"But I have to ask you something and I don't know how to phrase it so it won't come out- wrong, so please don't get angry or offended?"

"I promise."

"Why do you keep picking guys who have or will hurt you?"

She looked surprised.

"Logan made a prostitute of himself when he made that bet with Maxie. Johnny has pointed a gun in your direction and someone even kidnapped you as leverage against him. I know that part wasn't his fault, but because he refused Moreau you could have been hurt or killed. Film Guy treated you horribly before and after your abortion. I would never hurt you, and I'm not saying you should choose me; we're never gonna be together and I know that. I'm just saying, I would never break your heart and I don't think Milo would either. What was wrong with us?"

The question reminded him vaguely of being in the sewer with Maxie when she'd asked him what was so wrong with Georgie that he didn't see her feelings for him. Somehow he doubted Lulu's answer would be the same as his; he had told Maxie that when he gave himself, body, heart and soul, to someone they would belong to that person until they wished to hand them back to him.

"Nothing's wrong with either of you. Dillon and I had a history; I wanted to see if there was anything more. You and I have been through a lot together, but we're more like Jason and Carly. You would never hurt me, but look how badly I've hurt you. If we got romantically involved I might hurt you even more without even meaning to. Carly cheated on Jason with Sonny. Did you know that?"

He shook his head, surprised.

"As for Logan, part of the reason I got involved with him was to get back at my dad because Logan's the son of his enemy. I resented my dad for always leaving and for making it clear that he never wanted kids; he always says 'that was Laura's doing.' Then I really got to know him- Logan I mean- and he's so complicated. I guess Carly's right; we all go for bad boys, me, Carly and my mom. Johnny's a bad boy, too, and I know it's crazy and dangerous to be with him, but that's part of the appeal. Then when he pushes me away for my own good I wanna be with him even more; that constant and engrained need to do the exact opposite again. As for Milo, I just didn't feel anything for him but friendship. It's more than that with you; he's a friend and you're my best friend. I need to stop saying it and start showing it; I know that, and I'm gonna try."

"Did you consider The Jackal a bad boy when you were trying to choose between the three of us?"

"No one who spends more than five minutes with you could ever consider you a bad boy," she said with an affectionate smile. "You could never be a bad boy; it's just not in your nature and I'm glad you can't. You're sweet and harmless; no bad boy is ever harmless, even when he wants to be. Carly says Jason's her conscience; that's what you are to me, when I listen."

"But you never listen," he said without thinking.

He blushed and she laughed.

"There's your honesty again. Like you said before, that's why we need these talks. You need to make me listen like you did today."

"One more thing," he said. "You won't end up like your mother. If you're ever put in a situation where you have to do something similar to what you did to Logan and it ends in someone's death, you'll know you had no other choice. Your mother didn't remember killing Rick Webber, because she didn't. You have your father's strength; he does what he has to do and so do you. Your mother's heart, from what you told me, was too tender to accept the possibility that she took someone's life, even in self-defense. I'm not saying you don't have a tender heart; I'm just saying that your father's strength would get you through an experience like that."

"Don't think I'm trying to accuse you of ulterior motives or be confrontational, but are you telling me this to make me feel better about what I did to Logan or because you think I'm gonna end up in a situation like my mom's, or another one like what I did to Logan."

"Both," he said seriously. "I know you and you're gonna put yourself in danger; that seems to be as much a part of your nature as my honesty is mine. But I also don't want you to feel guilty about hitting The Simian One; he gave you every reason."

"Thank you, and I'll keep in mind everything you've said."

He treated her to lunch and then she ordered Logan's food. He would probably be wondering what had taken her so long. Mike asked Spinelli to look at his toaster, which was acting up again, and when he went into the kitchen Lulu bought him another bag of barbecue chips and another orange soda and put it in his bag, double bagging it before she did so none of his things would get wet from condensation from the soda bottle. There was a note in the bag telling him she had to go, but that she'd call him later and they'd hang out.

Later, on the phone, Lulu asked him something that had been bothering her for a while. She led up to it by asking him when he and Maxie had started to suspect Logan.

"The Wounded Blonde One wanted to go into The Clean Cut Cadet's room and look for clues and we found The Crabby Commando's dog tags. Add to that his odd behavior when he found us in Coop's room and the fact that he was favoring his side the night Everyday Hero Samantha was attacked and they were cause for suspicion. But the thing that really bothered The Jackal, and still does, is that someone would go into his deceased friend's room and take money."

"Under normal circumstances that would bother me, too, but considering he still doesn't have a job it's kind of understandable."

"Maybe," he said, not sounding convinced.

"But it still bothers you."

"Yeah, it does."

"Um, there's something else I need to ask you. What's going on between you and Maxie?"

He was silent for a second, surprised by the question.

"That came out totally wrong; I didn't mean to sound so possessive."

"No, you just surprised me. The Wounded Blonde One and I are friends; that's all. Wise Georgie has connected us; we were working together to find her killer and we began to understand each other in the process."

"So you're not in love with her?"

"No," he said, surprised again.

"Good because I feel like a total hypocrite for saying this, but you know what she's done, which means you know what she's capable of doing. I just don't wanna see you get hurt."

"The Jackal appreciates The Blonde One's concern and promises to be careful."

She was relieved. She hated Maxie and didn't want her best friend to be in love with her. Spinelli was way too good for Maxie. She knew she didn't have the right to say that after Spinelli had tried to warn her about Logan and Johnny and she still wasn't listening to him in that respect, but she couldn't help feeling it.

Things were better again between them for the next few weeks, then Lulu did something that made her feel bad again, but this time had the wisdom to know what she'd unintentionally done.

She was arguing with Johnny on the Haunted Star. They were fighting over his treating her like a puppet and her going back and forth between him and Logan. Johnny had bought into her father's business to try to get into her life again after they had decided they had no future, after Lulu had seen him hold a gun to Sonny's head.

"I'm sorry," Spinelli said, running in. "I thought you'd be hear with your father."

"No," Lulu said, glaring at Johnny. "It was a mistake. Do you wanna hang out?"

"No, unfortunately, The Jackal brings most distressing news. Little Michael Corinthos has been shot."

He told her how Sonny had brought Michael to the warehouse to see how the legitimate coffee business was run and someone had taken a shot at him and got Michael instead. Johnny was as surprised and horrified as Lulu, but she and Spinelli both said even though he hadn't pulled the trigger, it was possible that he or someone in the Zacchara organization had ordered a hit on Sonny and had accidentally shot his twelve year old son.

Spinelli watched as Lulu and Johnny argued, having a horrible feeling that Lulu was going to make another bad choice. He saw them arguing, but could feel that Lulu was still drawn to The Septic Son and Spinelli knew there was nothing he could say or do that would change her mind. Finally she turned away from Johnny and to Spinelli.

"Would you take me to the hospital?"

"Most assuredly."

"I'm sorry, she said, putting her hand over his to stop him from starting the car.

"What for?" he asked, surprised.

"I didn't mean to make it sound like I just wanted to hang out with you to get away from Johnny."

He smiled and put his hand on her shoulder.

"I'm the last thing you should be worrying about right now. Your cousin needs you. As for getting you away from him, you know The Jackal is always here to protect you from people who hurt you. I just wish you wouldn't keep letting them hurt you."

"Well, it doesn't matter where Johnny's concerned anymore because I'm done with him for good."

As he drove away, he knew she was lying to herself. He could only pray her self-deception wouldn't get her killed.

They didn't interact for the next few days, until Kate Howard called him to find a blogger for her. He had gone to give her a status report and found Lulu and Maxie sniping at each other. Spinelli became the object of their fight, each insisting that he'd come to see her.

"Spinelli is my friend," Lulu said. "He came to see me."

Before Spinelli could clarify, The Fashionista came and threw him out for distracting her assistants.

He came back later to speak to Maxie. He wanted to tell her he was falling in love with her. The Brusk Lady of Justice had advised him on how to tell her, but he was so nervous that he couldn't get it out. Before he knew what he was doing, he was touching her. He tried to apologize, but she thought he'd just been wiping a stain off a dress she was not supposed to be wearing in the first place.

Then he got an alert that Ian Devlin, the man he and Stone cold suspected of shooting Michael, was making arrangements to leave town immediately. He panicked when he couldn't find Jason and Maxie offered to help. As they were talking, Lulu came in.

"You're oddly on time," Maxie told her in a catty tone.

"What are you doing here?" she asked Spinelli.

She looked and sounded angry, confusing him because earlier she'd been happy to see him.

"My apologies, Esteemed Blonde One, but Maximista and I are collaborating on a matter of the utmost importance."

He left with Maxie, leaving Lulu feeling worried, angry and left out. Spinelli and Maxie seemed to be spending more and more time together. She was beginning to worry that she would lose her best friend to her worst enemy.

Later, Lulu heard on the news that Ian Devlin had been killed by Jason Morgan. Spinelli and Maxie had been involved. Why was Maxie involved? Had that been the matter of importance he'd been talking about when he'd left in such a hurry with her? Had Maxie gotten Spinelli into some sort of trouble and Jason had to get them both out of it?

She called him, worried that something might have happened to him. Had Devlin hurt him?

"Greetings?" Spinelli's polite but anxious voice answered on the second ring.

"Are you OK? What happened to Devlin is all over the news, but what actually happened? Why did he grab Maxie? Are you hurt?"

"I'm fine," he assured her.

She relaxed as she listened to him explain the events that had led up to Devlin's shooting.

"Maxie took Jason's extra keys?"

"It was my fault. I shouldn't have turned my back on her."

"Spinelli, if she's really your friend, you should have been able to trust her. You should have been able to turn your back on her to look at your computer, or Jason, or whatever, without being afraid she'd steal Jason's car keys!"

"Well, I intend to talk to her about that, but right now she's still shaken over tonight's events and Stone Cold is in jail."

"But he shot Devlin to save Maxie."

"That's what we both told The Law Abiding Ones, but they still took him down to the station. He can't reach The Brusk Lady of Justice, so he's gonna have to spend the night in lockup."

"Why did Maxie steal the keys?"

She could tell he didn't want to tell her. He wanted to lie, but couldn't. Not only had they both made a total honesty pact, but he was a bad liar, very transparent, as she'd said that day in the alley. He didn't want to cause trouble for Maxie and he knew The Blonde One would use this against her if she felt she was losing a confrontation with Maximista. He also didn't want Lulu to say or do something she would regret, something that could cost both her and Maxie their jobs, when she found out Kate had paid The Dastardly Dr. Devlin to help him disappear. There was something else he needed to tell her, namely that he was falling in love with Maxie after all and had been wrong when he'd said he only thought of her as a friend, but he would save that for a later conversation.

"Kate helped Devlin?" Lulu asked, shocked, when he'd finished explaining. "Why?"

"I think stone Cold intends to find out."

"So Maxie's forcing you to put the money back, isn't she?"

"Stone Cold promised her The Jackal would put the money back; Maximista did not force him."

That wasn't entirely true, Lulu thought, but she also knew Spinelli would defend his friends, even to each other, and Maxie had him convinced that she was his friend now. He was so sweet and trusting that she couldn't hurt him by telling him what Maxie was. She would just have to do whatever she could to make sure that witch didn't hurt her best friend. Lulu herself had hurt him enough, and so had Jolene. As if that hadn't been bad enough, Diego had killed Georgie and her death had devastated him, and then he'd been crushed by the fact that she'd been in love with him and he hadn't found out until after she'd been killed. He hadn't deserved an ounce of the pain he'd experienced since he'd come to Port Charles and Lulu didn't want him to be hurt anymore. If Maxi ever broke Spinelli's heart, Lulu would break her life into a million pieces.

She hung up feeling worried for him. Was he falling in love with Maxie and denying it even to himself, as she'd been doing with Johnny? She'd broken up with Logan so she could be with Johnny. She and Spinelli hadn't discussed that yet; it just hadn't come up. Eventually, she would have to confess her feelings for Johnny to Spinelli and see if she could get him to admit what was really going on with him and Maxie. He had tried to get her to be honest with him and with herself about Johnny. Now she was going to have to do the same with him on the subject of Maxie. Her next total honesty talk with Spinelli was going to be very heated, she knew, and she only hoped she wouldn't hurt him unintentionally in an attempt to protect him. She would have to be very careful.


End file.
